1. Okay.. youre a superhero. what is your super duper weapon of choice?
my trusty pimpstick.
my SAT vocab book
my pet gorilla.. uh, i mean, girlfriend.
my bass guitar.
2. whats your sidekicks name?
"doll"
"slutmuffin"
"fuck buddy"
"hey you"
3. what do you fight?
stupidity
posers
an abstinent world
4. okay, superhero.. theres a baby on the railroad tracks.. do you..
dash to the rescue?
pretend you didnt see it?
watch from a safe distance?
leave it because you put it there?
5. what kind of super costume do you have?
bondage. all bondage.
short skirt and a "vintage tee"
a band shirt and some really 'kickin' shoes
a wife beater under a generic buttondown preppy-boy shirt
6. the soundtrack to your full-length feature film includes..
i did it all for the nookie by limp bizkit
okay i believe you, but my tommy gun dont by brand new
only the good die young by billy joel
otherside by the red hot chilie peppers
stop by punchline
7. how do you build your crimfighting muscles?
basketball
rowing
lifting
im a lazy bum.
8. how do you get around?
i fly! (pst.. pass the acid)
i drive my super sporty car
i drive a submarine
i take public transportation
9. when youre not saving the world where are you?
school
hanging out with some real shady kids
with my significant other
at the zoo staring at my beloved
10. whos your arch nemesis?
college physics: book from hell
idiots
republicans
the zoo keeper
those crappy rich kids
11. whats your catch phrase?
"i'll cut you"
"want to have sex and a banana?"
"eeeeeeeee.." and other girlie noises
some inaudible noises (russian)
some inaudible noises
12. who do you sweep off their feet before the credits roll?
my buddy from.. out there
the really hot guy over there
my ape.. girlfriend, whatever
my boyfriend
13. in your autobiography "the life of a superhero" whos on the dedication page?
sarah.. shes just fuckin awesome
sarah.. shes just fuckin neato
sarah.. shes just fuckin cool
i was never a superhero.
